Did you know in New Zealand one in four females and one in eight males are likely to experience sexual violence, most before the age of 16?
This shocking fact is part of what Louise Nicholas, renowned and prominent rape survivor, will be speaking on in Whitianga on 10 September. Louise will share her journey through life and the work she now does as a survivor advocate with Rape Prevention Education (RPE), a non-profit agency focused on the prevention of sexual violence through education and community work.
Louise is brought to Mercury Bay by a local drug rape survivor who has received an enormous amount of help and support from her. "Louise’s strength and courage is such an inspiration to me, she has given me hope that healing is possible," the survivor said.
Louise is first and foremost a wife and mother. She has been married to her husband, Ross for 26 years and they have four children. "My family is my life. Without their love, support and encouragement, I would never have walked the rocky path to seek the justice I felt I deserved or been able to take on the role of survivor advocate," Louise said.
Louise is a survivor of childhood and adult rape. She was a victim of a crime committed against her by serving members of the New Zealand Police and is a survivor of a justice system that saw her battle her way through two deposition hearings and and a number of very prominent court cases. "I was slammed around the courtroom like a tennis ball, was told that I was nothing but an uneducated, vindictive, sex crazed liar by defence lawyers, but still I held my head high, I knew the truth, I knew what happened and nothing they could say or do in that courtroom could hurt me anymore, it was my time to take back the power and control that was stripped from me, this was my justice…"
Louise was voted the New Zealand Herald’s New Zealander of the Year in 2007 and was also placed in the top ten as one of "New Zealand’s Living Treasures." She co-wrote the bestselling book "Louise Nicholas - My Story" with Phil Kitchin, the Dominion Post reporter who broke her story in 2004. That led to a full Police investigation known as Operation Austin and a Commission of Inquiry into Police Conduct. An updated edition of the book was released in July this year.
A movie about Louise’s fight for justice, "Consent - The Louise Nicholas Story" screened on television last Sunday night.
Talking about her own experience, the local drug rape survivor said a drink she had one evening years ago was "spiked" with a drug that left her with no memory for eight hours. "As a result of this hideous crime, I am now challenged with post-traumatic stress disorder," she said. "I was failed by the very first emergency department doctor who judged me as just a drunken girl. For years I grappled with how anyone would ever believe me? I kept my feelings and my thoughts repressed for a long, long time. It has been a long, difficult and painful journey.
"Having Louise to talk to has made me feel validated and made me realise that I’m not alone. She could instantly relate to what I was going through. It has helped me so much to have Louise supporting me through the healing process.
"I have learnt that the best medicine of all is to let it out, to talk about how you feel and slowly to work through your unresolved grief, denial doesn’t help. It was important to find the right person. Someone I felt safe with and trusted to help me in my healing journey. I encourage other survivors to find the strength and come forward to start their journey to healing. Healing is possible. Louise is living testament of this."
Everyone will benefit from listening to Louise, parents, grandparents, young men and women. You may not be directly affected by sexual violence, but the social cost is high. Too many mental health issues and suicides are the result of sexual abuse.
You will hear how parents and carers can support the young people in our community, how to keep yourself safe and about the consequences sexual abuse have on survivors and their families. You will understand that "no" really means "no." Louise will emphasise that help is available for rape survivors, that they aren’t alone and that there are people who will believe them and who they can trust. She will also talk about the high profile "Roast Busters" case that is currently working its way through the legal system.
Louise’s talk is free and will be held at 7:00pm in the drama room of the performing arts block at Mercury Bay Area School. The updated edition of "Louise Nicholas - My Story" will be available for purchase and Louise will be happy to sign copies afterwards.
The New Zealand Herald said in 2007, Louise Nicholas "… has shown a rare resilience, turning a life that could have been a shattered ruin into a beacon of hope." Her story is a must hear.
Any sexual abuse survivors in need of help can phone the National Support Line on 0800 88 33 00. If you need support to make the call, Jenny Wolf and her team at Whitianga Social Services will be happy to assist. Call in at 2 Cook Drive or phone them on 866 4476.
You can also be in touch with any of the agencies listed on RPE’s website, www.rpe.co.nz.